Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Curves in the road :-)

First of all, thank you VERY much for all of the kind messages, thoughts, and prayers as I’ve experienced this very challenging circumstance in my life. I can’t say thank you enough. I am SO grateful to have so many great people in my life. J THANK YOU!

Sorry for my dramatic and negative blog post from Monday. I was definitely feeling low (okay let’s be honest here…pissed OFF), and I wanted to shout it from a mountain top…but all I had was this blog! My lil blog has been a great outlet for me to share my running experiences, and it would only make sense for me to share this experience as well. This is definitely very personal for me to reveal. But if it can help someone else, then it’s worth the while!
So, I’m feeling more like myself today. For the first time in I don’t even know how long, I DO NOT HAVE A HEADACHE!!! This is likely due to the great company I had, my beautiful nephew Tommy!


Although I feel fantastic, I still recognize that the road I have been blasting down for the past few years has definitely curved. There are going to be some changes made in my normal routine, and that is okay. It really could be a lot worse…
In fact, I faced my fear Monday and went up to the fire department to retrieve the E.M.T. report. I'm not sure why I was so afraid to get it. I had almost no memory of what happened and I guess the truth scared me. When it happened last year, the situation was better kept elusive for me and I was more than willing to accept it as a fluke. Considering this is the second time this happened to me, there is no writing this off as a fluke (although I REALLY wish I could). I needed to know exactly what happened on the scene, and so off to the fire department I went…
When I walked into the fire department, I was welcomed with a big “HEY HOW ARE YA?!?!?” I had to apologize to them immediately because my memory from the incident was so vague and I could not distinctly remember them. UGH! They were very nice, and kindly explained to me the details of the incident. My last memory was about a mile from the scene. L According to the paramedics, I went unconscious at the top of a hill near a bowling alley and rolled down 40 feet until the bottom of the hill. The people from the bowling alley were kind enough to tend to me with ice and water, and also called 911 reporting me as a teenager that was confused and that had fallen. HA! The paramedics said they were expecting to find a teenager that had O.D.’ed from the conversation they had with the people that found me, LOL, but they were clearly in for a surprise! They said I was lethargic at the scene, couldn’t remember what I had done that day, or what brought me to that location. Then, as they continued talking to me, I came around and was able to tell them that the same thing happened last year and consented to going to the hospital. I remember coming around like the memory of a dream; not in complete detail but a vague general idea. I asked them what they thought happened, and they said that it definitely appeared that I had a seizure. L They said I was clearly in the post-ictal stage when they had found me. My blood sugar level was normal, my electrolytes were in balance, and my heart rate was elevated but likely in response to the situation. They said I was completely covered in mud, and all I was really concerned about was that I hurt my ankle, LOL. That sounds like me. J I left the fire department with peace of mind. I don’t want to admit it, but being stubborn beyond this point is illogical and ignorant. It is what it is…I had a seizure. L
SO, I drove to the cardiologist after my visit to the fire department. The cardiologist set me up for a Table Tilt Test for tomorrow, which he is convinced I will pass with flying colors. I have a low heart rate, low blood pressure, and a well-conditioned SUPER fly heart. J It’s clearly a neurological issue, but we need to cross off everything on the list of potential causes. He did tell me I need to quit the coffee, and also said I need to quit the crazy amount of vitamins I take. I am a naturally hyper, spastic, high-energy gal…I really don’t need coffee. BUT I LOVE IT. A LOT. SO, I’m cutting back…but I’m not sure I want to quit. I know I can, but I love it oh so much. J I’m still hanging on to the vitamins, too (did I say I was stubborn?). Before I left, he held my hand and said, “This too shall pass…” A cliché saying for certain, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. He’s a special doctor. J
I have run since the incident. ONLY on a treadmill at an EASY pace and NOTHING more than 4 miles. I’m not an idiot, and am well aware that there is a problem that needs to be solved. I will be seeing an epilepsy specialist recommended by the neurologist from the hospital, and additionally I will be seeing a very renowned epilepsy specialist at the Cleveland Clinic. I’m not messing around here. I’m 29 years old, with a lot of years left to go. I need to get to the bottom of this seizure business, and hopefully knock out my migraine issue as well. More updates to follow…
SO running, what’s my plan for YOU? I’m definitely out for Boston. In the midst of my anger and frustration Monday, I contemplated run-walking it. Until I know what’s wrong with me,  that would be ridiculous. I definitely won’t be running the full Cleveland Marathon as planned, but we’ll see about the ½ marathon. My sis is running it, and I’d love to pace her. But, I would have to pay an extra $20 fee to switch and I'm not sure I want to put in anymore money for running. For right now, I’m LOVING taking it easy on my runs. It’s helping me remember why l love running in the first place.

Life is very weird. And, usually it’s unfair. But, God is the ultimate decider of the direction our lives are meant to go in. I’m excited to see the doors that will open as my racing door needs to close for now. God wants me to stick around for a while, which is evident by the location that these seizures have taken place. Had I ended up in the wrong hands, this could be a very different story. Life is by no means a straight-flat road, and would certainly be boring if it were. So, I'm going with the curves and hills on this road called life. As uncomfortable and challenging as this stretch of the road may be,  I know I will come out on top. That's just the kind of gal I am. :)

More updates to follow...

3 comments:

  1. I am so sorry, MP! I've been following along and I wish you all the best. BTW if I read write you said this happened in my home town. I now live in the town over. I don't know what your schedule is like, but I run easy many mornings at a park around here and am always up for company if we could swing a date. Shoot me an email if you would like some company to give you some peace of mind on a run! thesaltyone at gmail dot com. GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE!!!!!!!!

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  2. Thank you SO much, Salty! My mileage will likely be on the more pathetic side until I figure out what my issue is, but I'll be in touch!!! I really appreciate it, and would love to meet up! :-D

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  3. Pathetic works for me! I have to run with a double stroller and two hefty tots most days so I'm not going too far or too fast :)

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