Saturday, May 13, 2017

Bet on Butterflies

After 4 weeks of no running and MRI confirmation that my ankle swelling was NOT a stress fracture but rather a chronic sprain, my orthopedic doc gave me the green light to ease back into running, using the swelling and any pain as my guide. Grateful, excited, but never the less cautious, I started running again this week. I definitely felt the weight of the time off in my first few runs, but by Wednesday I was feeling shockingly comfortable, as if perhaps all had not been totally thrown away in these past few weeks on the sideline. Logic and prayer have been my guide and I haven't felt particularly sad or disappointed to miss my chance at the CLE Marathon this spring, but I have to admit that there is definitely a profound anticlimactic feeling when you have to cut your training short, for whatever the reason may be, without any opportunity to truly execute all the weeks of effort and hard work.

Although fully aware that any attempt at a PR would be foolish, I was getting "those" butterflies inside and started to contemplate possibly running a race this weekend...just 'cuz I can! Thinking of one of my favorite lines in Fight Club, "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything," I decided to run the Hyland 5k in Westlake on this picture perfect, sunshiny Saturday morning. After all, what did I have to lose?  With my cozy new training shoes and my old-school iPod fully charged, my focus was to let go, enjoy the beautiful morning, and simply do what I love to do so much: RUN! With this mentality, my legs were fresh, I had my pep in my step, and I crossed through the first mile in 6:00. It was definitely a fast 5k pace for me, even in my fittest form, but it just felt SO good! I lost my momentum a bit in the middle of the race, but did my best and hung on for a strong finish just under 20 in 19:56. Not a PR or where I was planning to be this spring, but it felt SO good just to be able to do it! I was elated to later learn that I managed to finish first female; it was the butter cream icing on the delicious chocolate cake!

While doing my cool down, I thought of the words I recently heard from a beautiful, enthusiastic, highly energized orthodox Jewish man who said he lives his life in such a manner simply because God doesn't want us to be sad. How inspiring?!? I firmly believe that actively choosing to be joyful, despite the odds, is doing God's will. It's not easy, in fact, it's really, really hard, but with a lot of work and a lot of faith, it is possible. Taking these past 4 weeks off has helped me get my spark back, and further reinforced my gratitude for being able to do all the things I am blessed to be able to do. I'm not sure if I'll do the CLE Half next weekend, but I may do another 5k before taking a few weeks off in June and part of July for my travels. We shall see! Just going to bet on "those" butterflies and use them as my guide, because even if things don't work out how I want them to, they never seem to let me down; nothing is impossible with God.

I didn't anticipate this turning into a blog post, but rather a quick, unpolished Instagram post. And, well, it was too here it is! :-)

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend celebrating and praising your beautiful Moms, in any which way or form you are blessed to have them with you. I am eternally grateful for both of my angels, my Mommy here on Earth and my Grandmommy watching over me in Heaven, of whom I love more dearly than my words could ever possibly express. :-)

Post 5k evening spent watching the skillz of Mentor High's future QB, aka Tommy :-)

Luke and Molly cheering on Tommy at his football game, aka eating ice cream and catching up on life. :-)

Miss Kate loving her ice cream :-)

Amen 0:-)

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